The entire country is in the grip of a spectacle so compelling, so consuming and addictive, that historians are already calling Donald J. Trump the first "Pokemon Go" President.
"Everyone is just walking around with their heads down in a phone now, like when Pokemon Go was a big thing," said Dr. David Norwood, Professor of Political Science at Tufts. "And people keep geo-locating protests and marches and stuff."
Trump has forced both his opponents and cheerleaders alike to create online avatars in which their "true feelings" may be known.
Some of the bigger marches serve as PokeShops where players can make signs, plan a boycott hashtag of something, and catch up on all the outrageous shit Trump did today. PokeGyms--also known as schools and workplaces--are where people who love Trump and people who hate him can spar about whether he's amazing or terrible while Steve Bannon rips the Constitution a new asshole.
Players lob PokeBalls, or actual facts, at gullible Internet trolls prone to propagating alternative facts. And in so doing, they achieve absolutely nothing.
The PokeMon Go Presidency. Let's keep playing and see what happens!